Football has always been a constant in my life (being ripped has NOT).
Watching it. Playing it. Reading about it.
I don’t know exactly how much time I’ve spent on all of those activities and that’s probably for the best.
Because it will be an obscene amount.
Just an awful amount of quality time, down the drain.
I have tried to cut back on watching it.
Knowing I will feel so shamefully guilty afterwards about what I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING instead with that time.
All those things I ‘say’ I really want to do, like reading, meditating, writing this blog.
But it’s hard to remove such a habitual part of my life.
Even if, as I get older, football has begun to lose some of its lustre.
Still, let’s be serious.
What else am I really going to do with my free-time? Learn something? Talk to a loved one?
Watching Liverpool or Hull City on the telly is still one of the more enjoyable aspects of my week.
(Please note: I support two teams. Pool and Hull. Get over it. You can have two teams. I just have a very big heart).
Still. A couple of hours watching giant children kick a ball about is a lot of ‘dead time’. What can you do to make it worthwhile for your fitness? Can you get ripped whilst watching TV?
Yes you can!
How to get ripped watching football on TV – a Health and Hedonism guide:
- Get on the floor in front of your telly.
- As the game kicks off, you do 15 press-ups (aka push-ups).
- You then rest for the remainder of the minute.
- When the clock hits the 1st minute you do 15 more press-ups.
- Then rest for the remainder of that minute (usually about 45 seconds).
- When the clock hits the 2nd minute you do 15 more press-ups.
- Then rest.
- Repeat this ’15 press-ups at the start of each minute’ for as long as you can. Resting for the remainder of each minute.
See if you can get to half time.
It’s surprisingly fun.
You can even watch the footy during the press-up if you position yourself carefully.
As an example I did the following recently:
15 x press-ups for an entire 1st half (plus injury time).
47 minutes of press-ups, rest and repeat.
That’s a total of 705 press-ups.
I hadn’t really planned to do that many, it just snuck up on me.
It felt mad when I added them up. It didn’t feel like that many.
I wouldn’t have gone to the gym and pumped out 700 press-ups, but that’s the advantage of this kind of ‘stealth fitness’.
It sneaks up on you. It’s bite-size.
You can trick your stupid brain.
Depending on your fitness level, goals or fears you could…
- Play with repetitions. I picked 15 but you’ll know what number is right for you. You might try mixing them up as well. 10 for every odd minute, 20 for every even etc.
- Mix your press-up variations – normal, diamond, wide, staggered, explosive, grasshopper, spiderman, hammertime etc
- Be careful craning your neck trying to watch the game at the same time as the press-up. It’s possible but also fraught with potential neck cricks and increased injury. Just listen instead.
- I’d advise doing it during the first half, then you can get it out of the way and feel good watching the second half (which usually has more action in it anyway as teams get stretched and gaps open up) knowing you’ve broken your body a bit.
- Use the clock as your guide. Don’t think about being tired or skipping a minute. You can make excuses all you want as the clock comes around to another minute – but the moment it hits :00 you’re in position and pumping out those reps. Because you’re a front room warrior!
- Hit half-time? Maybe you can finish off with some sit ups to failure during injury time and as many air squats as possible during the first ad break. Then you should refuel your muscles and/or have a shower. You dirty person.
- This approach to ‘stealth’ fitness can be easily employed to loads of other sports – just build the routine around egg-chasing, tennis, F1, kabaddi or whatever is your sporting vice.
- You WILL likely feel the aches for the next few days. This is the side-effect of being on your way to ripped city. When you breathe in deeply you’ll get a nice upper torso pain as your heroic reward.
- If you don’t know how to do press-ups properly, just google for proper form and ideas (or use an app).
- This alone won’t get you ripped. Diet, habit, genetics and a myriad of other factors will need to help BUT it will make you fitter than sitting down on your arse to mindlessly watch TV.
Why you should do it.
You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t watch football at all. Modern football is rubbish. Priced out of reach of the common man. Sizzling with micro-managed money grabbing badge kissing hypocrisy. Devoid of characters.
However, as noted above, what else are you going to do? Learn the guitar? No. Be serious.
Therefore if you do want to watch a bunch of overpaid, self-obsessed athletic simpletons kick leather back and forth – then at least if you follow the ‘How to get ripped watching football on TV’ by Health and Hedonism – you’ll have something tangible to show for it at the end.
And that is…your powerful growing chest, shoulders, arms, core and a glowing sense of satisfaction.
It’s a stealthy way to get ripped, whilst batching tasks.
All whilst you improve ‘bad’ habits by associating them with ‘good’ ones.
It plays into the gamified nature of the human brain.
It’s satisfying too.
Just remember not to smash your nose into the ground when your team scores and you involuntarily raise your hands in celebration.
Let me know how you get on!